Call Center Reporting

Here’s how Gilbert and Sullivan *may* have described high-tech Product Managers.

I am the very model of a high-tech product manager,
I’ve information customer, partner and competitor.
I know the product roadmap and I wrote the full requirements,
From  strategic to tactical, all detailed in my documents.

I’m very well acquainted, too with matters very technical,
I understand development, agile, lean and waterfall.
On MRDs and PRDs I’m really eager to create
All the information that will make our products really great.

I am very good with customers and early stage prospects;
I listen to them carefully and track all of their change requests.
I then prioritize them into releases point and major;
I am the very model of a high-tech product manager.

I will answer all questions that will save an opportunity;
I really wish the reps would use a real sales methodology.
I always ask the prospects about the problems they must solve;
And then I’ll help the SEs create solutions that can evolve.

I bring this insight to HQ and deliver it accordingly;
I need the engineers to implement it all whole heartedly.
Then I can move along and start helping product marketing,
To understand the new solution and adjust positioning.

I define new offerings and also write the business case;
competitively speaking, I’m not satisfied with second place.
In short, in matters customer, partner and competitor,
I am the very model of a high-tech product manager

I  have worked in other jobs as a sales rep and a marketer;
I even spent two long years as a database developer.
But I would wonder constantly what kind of role  was best for me;
I thought and thought and talk to others,  then I found some clarity.
I really am a business person, with fondness for technology
I blend it all together to create great product strategy

I think Product Manager was the job that was meant for me.
Yet I wonder if others think I’m easy going or cranky?
I only hope  the role will grow real soon into maturity.
But still in matters customer, partner and competitor
I am the very model of a high-tech Product Manager.

And here are two versions of the song. The original, and  my favourite spoof of the original.